


Not the end for us

by Cloakseeker



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 14:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5251487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloakseeker/pseuds/Cloakseeker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Disclaimer: I do not own the Divergent Series. Four and Tris are high school sweethearts. One afternoon they decide to meet up, but when Four is late Tris starts to worry. Caleb tells her that Four had an accident. How will Tris handle the situation? One-shot. Reviews appreciated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I would like to know your opinions.

Tris' POV

It's past 6.30 p.m. Tobias should be home by now, but he hasn't called me yet. He's probably taking a shower or eating supper.

It's 7 p.m. and Tobias still hasn't called. I look at the screen on my phone and the picture of me and Tobias lying down on a picnic blanket stares back at me. He is probably busy with some homework. I shouldn't worry. I always prided myself for not being a controlling girlfriend, but who am I kidding, I want to know where he is and why he hasn't called me yet. He usually calls when something comes up. And we had plans. Why would he invite me over if he had prior engagements? No, something is up.

I dial his number but there's no answer. I let it ring until the voicemail is activated. I decide not leave a message but try again. And again. And again. By the sixth or seventh time I'm already panicking.

Maybe his truck broke down or something, but he would have answered his phone then. Maybe Amar kept them longer at practice. I mean, Caleb isn't home yet. I decide to try calling my brother. It rings twice and then he picks up. I hear him laugh and then answer.

"Hey, Tris. What's up?" he asks.

"Where's Four?" I ask directly, not caring for politeness or anything.

"I don't know. Home, maybe."

"When did he leave?"

"Right after practice" Caleb answers and I feel myself getting angrier and more panicked by the minute.

"Which was when?" I ask forceful.

"Calm down. Uhm, at least an hour ago."

"What?" I ask. At this point I put on my shoes and hurry over to Tobias'. I knock on the door but there is no answer. His truck isn't here either. What the hell is going on?

"Tris, you still there?"

"Yeah" I say with a sigh and run my free hand through my hair.

"You okay?" he asks. No, I'm having a panic attack.

"I don't know. I can't reach Tobias. We were supposed to see each other right after his soccer practice but he hasn't called me yet and he doesn't answer his phone either. I'm worried."

"Calm down, sis. I'll be right home" Caleb says alerted. I hang up and try a few more times to reach Tobias but he still doesn't pick up. Where are you, baby?

I know his parents are at his sister's recital, but maybe they wanted him to go there too and he couldn't talk his way out and is now stuck there and I freak out for nothing. I dial Evelyn's number and wait for her to pick up. It rings several times and I almost give up when I hear her answer.

"Hello?" she asks whispering.

"Mrs. Johnson, it's me Tris. Is Tobias with you?" I ask her without any kind of excuses or meaningless chit-chat.

"No. He had soccer practice and told me he wouldn't be able to make it to the recital. He should be at home" she says, but I can sense that I worried her. I hope everything is alright with him.

"Tobias isn't home. The truck isn't here and he doesn't answer his phone. I'm really worried" I say and feel tears streaming down my cheeks. I can't hold it in anymore. I fall down to my knees and sob uncontrollably. Something is wrong. I can feel it. He would never let me wait this long without calling or texting me. He would let me know that he is fine.

I hear Evelyn talk, shout even, but I can't understand anything. It is like she's a million miles away and only the wind carries her words so that I can acknowledge their existence, but not their meaning. I hear a car and instantly look up.

"Tobias" I whisper. But it isn't him. It's my brother's car. It's Caleb.

"Tris" he says panicked, his face is pale, he is covered in sweat, but not from training, I can smell his shower gel on him. He is nervous. He looks me in the eyes and I can't figure out what I see: pity, fear, shock.

"What do you know?" I ask emphasizing each word as if he wouldn't understand me otherwise.

"Tris, I" he says and stops. He opens and closes his mouth several times but nothing comes out.

"Damn it, speak" I yell and startle him.

"Tris, Four had an accident" he says and from that moment on I'm paralyzed.

***

I wasn't allowed to see him until now. They told me family first. Evelyn stayed in his room the longest. Clark, her second husband, went in with Rose so that she could see her brother and then brought her back out, leaving her with my parents. He then returned to his son's room. I wanted to enter and be with him, but I knew that once inside nothing could get me to leave. I needed to give his parents time with him.

I look around the waiting room. All his friends are here and even those who aren't came. Nita came to offer her support, but I just want to be left alone. Each time someone dared to come close to me got a death glare from me and retreated as fast as humanly even possible. I don't need them or anything they could say to me. I want Tobias. I need Tobias. I need him to be okay. I need him to hold me. I need him to kiss me. I need him to tell me he loves me. I need to feel his rapid heartbeat underneath my fingertips when we make love.

Clark exits his room and looks like he will fall apart any minute now. I know he isn't Tobias' real father, but a dad is more than a sperm donor. It's the person who is there for you when you're sick and sad, who comes to your ball games, who gives you advice and listens to your problems, who takes a punch for you or from you because he knows that's what you need and he would do it all over again, because he loves you more than anything. Clark loves Tobias that way and Tobias loves him like he truly is his father, because in Tobias' mind there could be no better father in this world than Clark.

My dad gets up and wraps his arms around his friend as we all watch the man fall apart. He cries and mutters incoherent words that are like little knives cutting into my flesh. I can't hear him anymore. He is making me sick. I want to get out of here. I need to be with Tobias.

I walk to his room and knock on the door. There is no answer. I grab the doorknob and unlock the door. I enter the dimly lit room and look to my left where his bed is and he is lying in it. The air in the room is stale, the occasional smell of disinfectant tickling my nose. I look toward Evelyn. Her head is lying down on his bed, right next to his body. His right hand firmly grasped in hers as she continues sobbing and murmuring how much she loves him. She either hasn't heard me enter or ignores my presence.

I look him over as best I can. He doesn't seem to be very injured. There are some black spots on his face, right under his left eye and a split lip, his left bicep is covered in bandages and I can only guess his leg as well. I guess that's normal when you get T-boned on the driver's side.

He looks so peaceful, like he has a dreamless sleep, unaware of the reality the rest of us are living. He looks so handsome even bruised up. His lips are slightly parted and I remember the last time I kissed them. They were so soft and moist and deliciously sweet. I could spend the rest of my life kissing those lips. I look for a sign to see if he will wake up, but there is none.

I slowly get closer to his bed and Evelyn must have heard me. She lifts her head and turns it slightly to see who it is. She stares at me and I realize I'm crying. The look she gives me tears through my heart. I must wear a similar one since she stands up and comes closer to where I stand. She wraps her arms around me and we both cry on the other's shoulder.

The pain I feel in this moment is indescribable. I only felt it one other time before, but then I called Tobias to come hold me. Now I can't, because he is lying down in this hospital bed. I feel Evelyn slowly let go of me and walk into the small en-suite bathroom. My eyes never leave Tobias. I'm afraid that if I look away, even blink, he might disappear forever and I can't bear that thought.

I walk forward to his bed tracing the edge of the bed with my fingertips until they finally reach his. I gently wrap my small hand around his large one. It's warm, mostly because Evelyn held it so tightly and kept rubbing it.

I find myself lying down next to him as best as I can. My head rests on his shoulder while his right hand is pulled up to my chest where my heart is beating for him and I talk to him in a hushed voice, as if telling him a secret. But there are no secrets between him and me. He knows me and I know him. The only thing I whisper is a promise that is true today and will be true every day henceforth: I love you.

I caress his face.

I hold his hand in mine.

I kiss his lips.

But I don't say goodbye.

This is not the end for us, my love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I've decided to give this one-shot a second shot :) Tell me what you think.

It is a lovely October day. It's unusually warm and sunny for this time of the year. The only thing indicating it is fall is the colorful leaf carpet on the ground. The colors are still vibrant as if they are still attached to the twigs and branches of the trees.

If it weren't for the ceremony and the place this would be the perfect day for a picnic.

Our first date was a picnic. We had so much fun. I was nervous but each time I looked into Tobias' eyes I calmed down. I felt like I knew him, even though we just met. His eyes were always so warm and comforting. He was the balm that my heart needed. And I tried to be the same for him. I can't imagine what he went through as a child and my heart aches that I was never able to take some of his pain away. But I vowed that each time we would be together I would make him happy. Replace every bad memory with a happy one.

I thought I had enough time to do that.

But time was stolen from us.

I don't pay attention to what the minister says. I'm certain it's a beautiful speech about Tobias and what a wonderful person he was.

They asked me to say something, but I am not sure I can. I haven't spoken since the hospital, since I whispered my love to him.

When Caleb came home and told me that Tobias had an accident I felt the earth move and swallow me, just like it did in my dream. I cried on the way to the hospital that I thought I might dehydrate myself. I didn't even know the human body could produce so many tears.

I knew before they told me. It was like my heart was beating, but it was out of sync. How else would it be? Its counterpart stopped dancing that rhythmic dance of love and mine got confused. I stopped breathing when they uttered the words I dreaded the most.

I don't know what to do anymore. I cocooned myself in my room and played that mixed CD Tobias gave me over and over again, as if the songs could bring him back, but they can't. He is gone. He left me. And I will never be whole again. He had my heart and now it's gone. Even if I wanted to give it to anyone else I wouldn't be able to. It belonged to him and him alone. And now they are both gone.

I think I listened to his favorite song a hundred times. I know every note, every lyric, every pain behind each verse. It is still ringing in my ears while he is lowered to rest in the ground. I wait for everyone to leave and by some miracle no one comes to me, not even my parents.

"I can see every tear you've cried, like an ocean in your eyes. All the pain and the scars have left you cold. I can see all the fears you face, through a storm that never goes away. Don't believe all the lies that you've been told." I'm a terrible singer, but it feels right to sing his favorite song to him. After all, he sang it to me. "I'll be right here now, to hold you when the sky falls down. I will always be the One who took your place. When the rain falls I won't let go. I'll be right here." I can't take this pain any longer. I kneel down, trying to be as close as I can to him. "I will show you the way back home, never leave you all alone. I will stay until the morning comes. I'll show you how to live again and heal the brokenness within. Let me love you when you come undone." I'm sobbing. I can't hear a thing, my wailing is preventing it. I can hardly breathe, my lungs are on fire and my skin burns. I feel like my whole body is craving to touch him wherever he might be, because down there in that casket is only his body. Tobias isn't here anymore and he will never come back and I don't know how to fix that, how to fix my empty soul. How can I tell my soul that its mate is gone? It's impossible.

I am fully lying down on the ground crying so hard I think I won't be able to stand again. I want Tobias, I want him back. Whole and happy and with that crooked smile plastered on his face, those warm chocolate brown eyes staring back at me, those full lips pressing gently but firm against mine, his hard body wrapped around mine, shielding me from the outside world like it's a bombing shelter.

But my shelter is gone. The bombs got it. It's destroyed and I don't know where to go or what to do. I feel like I'm a ship in the middle of the ocean that is drifting further and further away, leaving land far behind.

How can I ever heal this wound? How will I ever find my heart again?

Why him, God? You could have taken me dozens of times, but you didn't. Why him? He deserved to live and be happy. He had this awful childhood, he deserved a long, happy life. I would have done everything to make him happy.

He was so full of life, enjoying it and making me see the good parts. He was my anchor when I was so willing to give up. He is the only one who knew all my troubles and fears and he was the only one who casted these demons out of my life. How will I ever survive without him?

Why did you have to put him on my path, Lord? To mock me? To hurt me? To destroy the little bit of faith I had in you? Why?

"Bee, sweetheart, let's go home" I hear my father whisper. His voice is sad and hurt, but it fades in comparison to the pain I feel.

"I don't want to. I want to stay here, with him" I say stubbornly.

"Sweetheart, it's been hours, it's getting dark. I don't want you to get sick" he says gently.

"I don't care. I want to stay here with him, be with him" I say and new tears find their way into my eyes.

"Sweetheart, don't say that" dad says softly, but I can hear his own despair, but it's because of me. I look into his eyes through the veil of tears and can't hold the one sentence back that I've been thinking of for all this time.

"I want to die" I say. I look down, but I can tell by the sharp intake of air, that I scared my father. He doesn't say anything else after that. He picks me up and I let him unable to fight it anymore. I'm too weak to even talk, let alone move. He carries me to our car and I fall apart once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did this story make you sad or even cry? Tell me.


End file.
